Nigerian marriage ceremonies are usually entertaining as our cultures are diverse and beautiful. the glamorous dressings,dances, and drinkings all embedded into one on the day of union which is but just a day to mark the beginning of a journey called "marriage". but there is more to it than the wedding celebrations. in the Nigerian setting, there are issues that have militated lots of divorces over the years in different homes.
When a marriage fails, it doesn't necessarily mean the couples have divorced each other.in this context, it means that its essence,purpose or significance is now out of place. certain other negative issues are now in charge, causing lots of family mistakes which leads to to several fights and quarrels in the home. most times, it is never the desire of the couples involved to quarrel or fight each other but it is because some crucial things were not in place or rather handled before and in marriage.
Below are the Reasons;
1. Absence Of Self-Discovery:
When an individual has failed to have a proper knowledge of him/herself in terms of purpose. how well can such a person be married to another individual? when you discover who you are, you'll be able to marry someone who is a good match to your personality. but whenever this is absent, there will always be misunderstandings as both couples will never reach any conclusions on matters relating to their home.
The disastrous effect of this is that even when they have children, they'll still have this same issues to handle and it will end up exposing their children to having a knowledge of their parents' weaknesses at a very tender age and this for sure is never good for child growth as it affects them negatively. so you see that it is necessary that you have a good knowledge of yourself in order to be who and what you are supposed to be and as well be with whom you're supposed to be with.
2. Lack Of Proper Home Training:
This may sound harsh and as well funny to some persons but actually it in some homes make couple union fail as its effects are usually negative. when an individual is not disciplined from home, in marriage he/she will find it hard to maturely be responsible to certain activities of the home and hence will keep putting the other couple off and gradually the union will collapse.some of these acts which depicts lack of good home training could be like when a man fails to respect his wife(maybe he insults or beats her at will); it could be that his father never respected his mother and so he learned that while growing up.
Another practical example is when a woman expects her husband to clean up the house after or before work while she bothers only about her manicure,pedicure treatment and other materialistic issues that has no business or connection with the home. we could keep counting more and more examples of such. in some regions in Nigeria if such should be found of a woman, the husband would return her back to her parents and ask of them to teach her how to be a wife. it may sound funny and hilarious but actually it's a serious matter which needs to be addressed for homes to stand firm to its essence.
3. Selfish Interest:
]Selfish interest in this context stands for some certain behaviours or habits exhibited by couples which irritates or pisses off their spouses. acts of selfishness which in turn becomes a maltreatment of the other whether consciously or unconsciously. these acts have led to different divorce cases as couples are sometimes heard making utterances like "i can't take it any longer" or "i have had enough of this". the things they complain of being fed up of are actually acts which portray selfishness. an examples of this acts is when a wife constantly demands for or spends money to keep being up to date with trending fashions while there are other serious problems in the home that needs financial attention. another example is when a man claims to have no money with him to support his family and still goes out to bars to drink and cheat on his wife and children. attitudes like these have given rise to the number of broken homes in Nigeria.
4. Imitative Lifestyle:
This is a trending habit that Nigerian newly married couples are beginning to put up which has actually yielded negative results. some of them try to imitate other couples forgetting the fact that every marriage union has its own distinct unique purpose which is different from others. when this comes into play, there are pending dangers which will crash the union in little or no time.
Another dimension of this imitative lifestyle is when one out of two couples decides to imitate a particular personality(maybe a celebrity) and in turn demands certain satisfactions which his/her spouse can't offer. definitely there will be problems which will tamper the peace they both have and hence their marriage may begin to fall instead of growing. trying to be what you are not in a marriage setting will only cook up troubles that are poisonous to the proper growth of the home.
Marriage is not something to be jumped into without being fully prepared for it. a popular speaker once said "a marriage you did not prepare for will prepare you when you get there". it is very necessary that you get yourself prepared both mentally,physically,spiritually,financially and otherwise before you embark on the journey of it. when you are prepared for it, you'll be bold enough to face the challenges that comes with it. most persons who got divorced did so because in a way they were never ready to face it with all they are and so they wanted out. they gave it up. would you wish for such to be your story? if not, why not stop being desperate as a single lady or man and be sure that you're fully prepared for it. don't be expectant of it because your friends or age mates are getting married. such is never a good reason to base on to make a decision about marriage. get positively prepared to be able and matured enough to be responsible in marriage.
The above points are my own opinion on why some Nigerian marriages don't work out well. now over to you my dearest friends. what other Reasons Do You Know of? Drop Your Views in The Comment Box Below